you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
