So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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