no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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