It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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