grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
