How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
