i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
