I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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