That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize