i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
