STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
