pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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