He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I just had sex on a roof
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
