Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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