That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
