We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
