lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
