i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
