we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Randomize
