He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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