I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
