Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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