Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
