I want to make a zoo with you.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
