shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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