please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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