No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
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Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
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