Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
