Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
