So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
