i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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