They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
