i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
my liver is dry heaving
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
