STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
