I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
