me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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