i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize