C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
