Where are you?
In a non slutty way
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
