Rock
Scissors
Fuck
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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