You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize
