??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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