brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
