That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
