What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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