I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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