Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
