from now on my penis is your penis
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Randomize
