Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
