I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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