Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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