One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
