just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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