Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
