Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
