So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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