Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Who wears a wallet chain?!
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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