i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
