Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
