Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
