I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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