Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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