it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
