We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
