Old men and throwing up are my life now.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
