Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
